A divorce is a decision in court that is for the purpose of terminating a marriage. The parties are able to marry again after the divorce is served. Obtaining a divorce is a very traumatic experience for both partners.
The falling apart of an intimate relationship is very stressful for the persons involved. Being separated alone can carry a great number of countless emotions. The shift from the normal routine of life and the expenses incurred can produce further stress. If there are kids involved, the trauma of the severance will burn out the parents making them negligent of the children’s needs. The new conditions of the agreement can cause a strain in the relationships. Even if the parent who is living apart has a schedule for visits, it is just not the same anymore. The children are most vulnerable in these cases. The sense of loss would be felt when some routine actions are not being performed anymore such as the telling of bedtime stories or packing the lunch box.
A lot of people liken the loss of an intimate relationship to dying. There are stages of acceptance in both instances, which are basically the same. But these stages of acceptance do not necessarily mean that they happen in order. Some people go in and out of the stages randomly or sometimes they even go back to a stage they have already been to. For some people the stages last longer than usual. This is because no two persons are the same. Some are more resilient while others are unyielding.
The most common stage is denial. Even the plaintiff who is instigating the divorce still undergoes the denial stage. The full impact of the loss has not yet been felt here. Elation might be felt because of the freedom from the ‘chains of bondage.’
In the process of divorce, anger is the most expected stage. Even to the spouse who had been miserable during the marriage, anger is still present because of dreams not realized and needs not met. These feelings should be expressed and felt.
Guilt is likely to be present even to the spouse who doesn’t feel responsible for the breakup. This is because the relationship was a failure. Parents may also blame themselves for their children’s “broken home.”
Grief sets in when the total blow of the loss is experienced. This is the most essential stage for the person to feel in order to reach the last one. They must express the sorrow they feel. They must say ‘goodbye’ to the relationship.
Acceptance happens when the person acknowledges the finality of the divorce and that this episode was part of his life. They are ready to move on.
